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According to a Indiana University survey, Spanking is definitely one of the sexiest and easiest ways to get into impact play. However many first timers are hesitant about doing it. This can be due to shame, or lack of knowledge about technique, or being unsure if their partner would be into it. It took me some time too at the beginning of my kink journey to be able to process spanking as an erotic form of play. For centuries, our society has perceived spanking as a punishment.
At the same time, spanking has also been used as sexual arousal. The mural depicts two men spanking 101 up and a woman bending over, being spanked by one and flogged by the other. Another example is the Kama Sutra by Vatsyayana Mallanaga. Erotic spanking has been linked to sexual play through our history. The most important thing before trying anything is to communicate with the person you want to try it with.
Whether you want to spank or receive the spanking, it is imperative to communicate your desires and make sure that the other person is also willing to participate. This spanking 101 what we call informed and active consent. At this moment everyone agrees on what will be done, how and for how long. It is important to define limits, boundaries and aftercare. For a more detailed article, read kinky guide for couples: Step-by-step. Once consent is clear between those involved, it is time to get hands on! It seems almost intuitive where to place our hands when spanking: the meaty part of the buttock s, b ut it is just as important learning where not to spank.
The t ailbone, hip bones and the sides should be avoided.
The sweet spot is right in the middle of the butt. A good rule of thumb is spanking 101 always avoid any body part that is not protected by fat or muscle. ts are other parts we should never really touch. Hitting the sides can be arousing for some masochists, but I would consider that a more extensive impact play scene rather than spanking. For me, spanking applies only to the buttocks. Not to get to anal about concepts, but for this guide I would rather stay with the spanking 101.
There are two basic techniques I like to use when spanking. Spanking with a flat hand and a cupped hand. To create this cuphold your hand as if you were going to fill it with water and drink directly from your hand. Now flatten it a little, but keep all your fingers together while still making relaxed cup form. Make sure your fingers and hand are comfortable when striking.
When in this shape, the middle of your palm should not make direct contact with the skin. A flat hand will create a more stingy sensation, while the cupped hand will create a more thuddy one. Some people will like one or the other most, but in my experience, most people like a balance between them both.
When spanking, I like to go back and forth between the two techniques using both hands. Make sure to discuss this during negotiation with your partner.
When first starting trying out spanking, I suggest spanking 101 each on their own and getting feedback. I always suggest starting slow and soft when trying something new. When experimenting, you only change one variable at a time. When starting to lift weights, you start with lighter weight and build up from there. My first suggestion is to try a light spanking during foreplay. While still clothed, with a bare hand, lightly spank your partner. Wait for their reactions. Reactions may take a couple of minutes.
And there is nothing unsexy about asking the other person how they felt about the spanking. Maybe they will like it and ask for a spanking 101 spank, maybe they will hate it altogether. There is a small possibility they can be triggered. Triggers can happen for any cause and in any situation. So it is important to always wait a couple of minutes before going on with any new sexual, erotic or play activity. If your partner wants to continuethen I recommend giving a couple more spanks still with the clothing on.
Slightly harder this time, but not strong strokes yet. I like playing with a system on top of using spanking 101. Safewords are very important but I like to have feedback long before getting to that point. I like knowing the sweet spot where they are aroused without going overboard with the scene. In order to learn their pain and arousal threshold, I tell my bottom to tell me on a scale 1 to 10 how the pain feels with each stroke. The level of arousal is felt by the person receiving the spanking, it is totally subjective, so it is important to get their direct feedback.
For somea 2 is a good to stay at, for othersspanking 101 8 or even a Each person is different. What I suggest is gradually scaling up until the is good for the person receiving it. Then the person providing the spanking would learn how to go from 1 up to that. Repeat this exercise several times until you are able to tell on your own how hard they like to be struck.
You will be surprised how fast your body memory will kick in to learn the necessary strength you need to have each time. After a couple of minutes of practice, it is time to end the session. It is well known that our bodies release various chemicals driving the bottom the one receiving the spanking into what we call hepace. This is where consent can start to get messy, s o it is a good idea when starting out to just abide by what was negotiated and consented to before the scene and within a short amount of time.
Little by little, as partners gain more experience together and grow trust, that amount of time can usually be increased. Once you all feel more comfortable with the spanking, it is time to add some music! I love spanking to a good Latin American song, but Rock and Roll has never failed me either. Spanking to the rhythm of your favorite tunes is a fun way to diversify your scene. Spanking is not about spanking the whole time. The time you give the buttocks to recover is as important as spanking.
A couple of spanks followed by some sensual touch is generally very well welcomed. Caressing the butt after a couple of strikes is a very strong sensorial experience. When hitting the butt, you bring blood to the surface and the body heightens your sensorial experience around that area.
Pain builds up with time around an area even if the area is receiving the same amount of impact.
In other words, if you spank someone consistently the 5th or 6th stroke will feel harder than the first two, even if the strokes were done with the same intensity. Therefore it is important to come back to 0, or de-escalate the pain in order spanking 101 have longer sessions. After all, we are looking for the arousal from the pain, not pain in itself.
Another way to do this is by giving very slight spanks, more in the sensual and erotic realm. When you learn to interlace some heavy, medium and light spanks, and soft caresses, you will open the door to the most pleasurable spanking experience your bottom will ever have.
No matter if it is the first session or the 10th one, aftercare must always be providedf spanking 101 all parties involved. Aftercare is as different as we are different ourselves. For some, it looks like cuddling, smoking, talking or even some time by ourselves. It is important that all parties are informed of what aftercare each party needs during negotiation.
I personally like to cuddle, kiss if I am connected to the person and be reassured. I also make sure I try to fulfill the emotional needs of my partners, whether that be cuddling, kissing, having sex or talking about a certain topic.
Emotional maintenance is important for relationships to last. Finally and days after the scene, make sure you reconnect with the person. Talk about what the best part of the scene wasthe worst, what to try again, what to incorporate, how long, etc.
These are all important questions that can help improve the future experience. Miguel is a lifestyle Dominant, sex educator, influencer and writer. If spanking 101 have any questions or would like some kinky tips, follow him on his social media! IG: KinkyMiguel. address:. Close Menu Home. Spanking Negotiation The most important thing before trying anything is to communicate with the person you want to try it with. Where and where not spanking 101 spank It seems almost intuitive where to place our hands when spanking: the meaty part of the buttock s, b ut it is just as important learning where not to spank.
Basic Techniques There are two basic techniques I like to use when spanking. Start slowly I always suggest starting slow and soft when trying something new. system I like playing with a system on top of using safewords. Rhythm Once you all feel more comfortable with the spanking, it is time to add some music!
Sensual Touch Spanking is not about spanking the whole time. Aftercare No matter if it is the first session or the 10th one, aftercare must always be providedf or all parties involved. Let us hear you comments! Comment Here. Videos coming soon. Twitter Instagram Youtube.Spanking 101
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